"The Woods Have Eyes" and a hot MILF in it!

“The Woods Have Eyes”.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0835384/

So, this is stripped down, not low-budget, but “NO-BUDGET” (don’t let the poster artwork fool you) – campy, horror film in the retro 70’s old school style. This is one of those deals where some dude writes, directs, stars and recruits his local wannabe actor friends to do a flick with him. If you’re into indie films and guerilla style film-making, this is a must-see. If you’re looking for a high-quality, edge-of-your-seat thriller, this is NOT for you. The fact that this film is set in the late 70’s and also exactly stylized from films made during that time, makes it very fun to watch. It’s like a flashback in time. There is even a glory hole scene of senseless nudity (if there is such a thing), ala “Porky’s”.

My biggest complaint is that the most particularly terrible acting (its all bad acting), but the worst acting is by the “monster” – the bad guys are the worst actors which really lets some of the steam out of the sails. You would think, if you’re big and scary looking, how hard is it to be a hack/slash killer redneck in the woods? Well, if you watch this, you will know exactly what I’m talking about.

The best thing about this film, is how the director builds tension from nothing and how he absolutely nails a replication of 70’s horror film.

One major shinning spot, is this mom MILF who has a VERY minor role, but she is SMOKING, her name is Darla Delgado.

For what this movie is, I give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars – on an across-the-board scale, it would struggle to get 2/5.

-rexus maximus